One of my jobs today was to strip my bed. However, I had to go in one of Keith's two chests of drawers for something and decided I would empty his sock drawer. Then I thought I would make a start on going through his clothes, and seeing what HAD to stay as too many emotions attached, and what could go to the charity shop. One far away in the opposite direction, so none of us would have the shock of seeing his clothing offered for sale. (It will probably be St Michael's Hospice, in Hereford).
Of course, this was quite a big emotional ask and at times the tears ran down my face and I sobbed loudly, but I persevered and there is some good clothing (some new) to help the Hospice out. I did the same with his shoes - just keeping his running shoes as he wore those a lot and no-one would want them, but they have memories of course. I will have to remember to add his walking boots to the bag.
Finally I stripped and remade the bed, with the autumn weight duvet. I should be nice and snug tonight. I may put hooligan cats downstairs as Alfie insists on being on one side of me, and Lulu on the other, and he gets jealous of her and has scrammed me a few times - latest one deep and nasty and needing a plaster still even after 3 days. It does feel very lonely up there without them though.
I also managed to do some more gardening today. I carried on clearing the grass and dandelions from around the other two roses on the far end of the bank. The roots were dug out and all, then I laid down cardboard, some very good horse manure and finally bark chippings. Now I need to work my way along the bank and remove the REST of the grass and weeds and put down cardboard/newspaper and more bark chippings. Progress anyway.
I finished the afternoon sat outside with a late cup of tea, feeling it get chillier as I was busy with my stitch ripper, listening all the while to The Lost Bookshop. Nearing the end now . . .
Next week one of my Romsey cousins is in Wales, so she and her husband are coming to take me out for lunch. I'm looking forward to that. Tam and Rosie are here at the weekend too, so a nice break from being on my own here.
Sorting is a very difficult job indeed. I confess I still have much to do on that front, but my progress was interrupted by one Pandemic followed by my own diagnosis. One thing that helped me is that I got rid of a lot of my own stuff as well. I passed on 17 bin bags full just two weeks before the first lockdown and probably have double that left to go still. Parkinson's and Procrastination are an odd couple that go hand in hand.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to feel seriously snug in bed, especially in the colder, winter months, try Portuguese flannel bedding! Other nationalities are available! It is truly amazing. The downside is you don't want to get up! Then again, they retain the heat so when you have to nip downstairs to make an early morning cuppa, the bed is toasty warm upon your return!
Well, it sounds like you made a good start, even if it has stalled now.
DeleteI have some flanelette bedding - duvet cover too - and that comes out when it is seriously cold. SO warm to snuggle down under.
Always difficult getting rid of a loved one's clothes. When my Dad died I took all the good stuff to our local hospice shop and they were very grateful for the larger size clothing, he was a tadge portly and over 6ft tall. You sound as though you are keeping yourself busy. I also stripped our bed and managed to get out and edge a lawn. Seeing solicitors tomorrow - will they give us a moving date, I do hope so. Hugs Xx
ReplyDeleteYes, I expect they don't get much larger size stuff. I am always busy. It's something that my neighbour Ed mentioned yesterday. I am always on the go. These days it has a double purpose as it keeps my mind occupied.
DeleteAll digits are crossed for a moving date for you. You must be tearing your hair out over the procrastination of the vendor's solicitors.
It hurts...but just think how much you will be helping others...and Keith will be helping others positively...
ReplyDeleteYes, good will come from sadness. Some of his shoes are scarcely worn, and the same applies to tops and joggers too. The things that stayed though - amongst them the woollen jumper he was wearing in a photo where he is holding Tamzin, who was just four days old and the blue zip-up top he was wearing in our favourite photo of him. Just writing that has reduced me to a weeping heap.
DeleteI feel for you sorting such intimate reminders of Keith. I've had to do that five times! First my mother, then father - both lived at the other end of the country so that wasn't so so hard, Then my adored aunt, to whom I was daughter she definitely my closest and dearest. Then my MIL, whose drawers (many) and wardrobe (at least 16ft, and trousers, all perfectly hung in another wardrobe!) and finally, and most painful my dear father-in-law, who was in a rest home, so we had to clear his unit in 24 hours!! That ALL went to the Night Shelter - a place where homeless men could find a bed, bath and meal. I found that clothing that wasn't really good enough for 'sale' was welcomed at the Night Shelter. The whole process is SO draining isn't it. I felt like I'd been battered with cudgels - emotionally and physically. Time outside in your garden, and with family and friends helps with the healing process. But, you're still living with the pain. Gentle hugs XX Virginia
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, you certainly had a challenge with your clearing out for family. Are you an only child by any chance? (I am). I think our equivalent of the Night Shelter might be the Salvation Army. It is sad that when the charity shops get things they deem not good enough, they go to textile recycling, but I suppose that still makes money for the charity.
DeleteIt was therapeutic to get out in the garden afterwards and do the job I've been trying to do these past two years.
It's so hard sorting and clearing loved ones clothes and personal possessions. My siblings and I cleared out our mother's things. Lots of tears there. A few years later I cleared one sister's entire house, alone. No tears then, I was numb. Crying is healthy, I think. How nice that Tam and Rosie will be there over the weekend, and then your cousin visits. It's always good to have family around. Alfie surely loves you , too!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard. I did it for my dad and my mum. There were a couple of shirts of dads I left in the chest of drawers as I couldn't part with them, and was upset when mum moved to Wales with us, to find she had binned them.
DeleteTam & Rosie now staying longer as they're invited out for the meal too. I had better do a food shop!
Alfie loves me a bit TOO much I think.
gz is right. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteWe have a neighbor who is helping her sister sort through her brother-in-law's clothing. She complained about the sheer quantity of stuff, 3 dozen pairs of brand new pants, packages of underwear and t-shirts and socks...she went on at great length, and we listened to her politely. When she finally left, I turned to Tim and said, "You need to promise me that you'll wait a respectable time to ditch all my stuff." He said, "How long would that be, do you think?" laughing. I said, "Well, how about you wait until I actually die, for starters..."
That poor man has not even shuffled off this mortal coil!
Gosh, that reminds me of Keith and his brother sorting his mum's clothing. She always bought things in the sales, and so much of it went in the cupboard "for best" - including those dozens of pairs of interlock knickers, winter vests, nighties etc! I am STILL using her January-sale duvets and she died 22 years ago!!
DeleteBit naughty having a sort out before that poor man even being dead!
ARGH!!!! That was me, btw.
ReplyDeleteI reckoned it must be :)
DeleteReading the comments makes me relieved S and I share one 100cm wide wardrobe between us. He also has a five drawer tall boy (bottom drawer has half a dozen shirts which he no longer wears unless I help with buttons) while I have a three-drawer chest of drawers which is also my bedside table. T and I were talking about the worldwide clothing mountain at the weekend and as he trades in secondhand clothes he says there is no need for anyone to buy new clothes ever again. He practises what he preaches and always looks so stylish. He’s going to Nepal to climb and then on to Vietnam soon and will be away for four months. I will miss him. One big benefit of having few clothes is that you never save anything for best, everyday is my best clothes day. Don’t forget it’s Llwyn Celyn’s open weekend 21st/22nd and I think you are hoping to visit with Tam and Rosie. Scratch sounds nasty. I got stabbed in the hand by a rose thorn on Monday and my index knuckle swelled and was red, shiny, puffy and painful for a few days. I even missed swimming on Wednesday as it continued to throb but went swimming yesterday (swam 100 lengths/2.5km in 60mins - chuffed with that - and no I don’t count, I borrow a watch from the pool that tells me more than I need to know) and all better now. I have two flannel sheets from Heals, bought in 1996 when we decided we really needed a five foot bed. Still sleep in the lovely cherrywood bedstead we bought albeit with a new mattress. Bedding is another textile mountain best not to think about. We rejoined the Weald and Downland open air museum this week (disabled plus carer annual membership is £20 pa and the site is open all year round and a good safe place to walk - boisterous dogs off the lead are an unwelcome hazard when your balance is wobbly and terrain uneven) and I was reminded of the straw mattresses under-slung with rope so you ‘slept tight’ on a simple wooden bedstead made up with handwoven linen sheets and woollen blankets. It was a lovely visit and we took sandwiches and apples and enjoyed a tub of ice cream sitting on a bench in the sunshine. S went to our local well-being cafe in the village hall yesterday and played quirkle, scrabble, table tennis, did 15 mins of chair exercises and enjoyed tea and cake. He came home with a big smile and keen to tell me all about it and I had two hours by myself at home which hasn’t happened for a long time. A quiet day for both of us today I think. My grass cutter is coming this afternoon and while he mows the garden I will give the front grass its final cut of the year. That and making an apple cake will do for today. We’ve been enjoying the loveliest weather but it’s all set to change next week. Take care BB. Sarah x
ReplyDeleteI also kept a couple of jumpers of Paul I had knitted for him, he wore them constantly. It is very hard to face the inevitability of everything but as a job it must be done.
ReplyDeleteSorting out the clothes is one of hardest things. Me and Mum did all of Dad's things one afternoon a couple of weeks after he died. We were just on the brink of finding it too much when we realised that we were taking the same things out of all of his pockets ... wads of folded tissues, a tie, half a dozen wooden coffee stirrers, packets of sweeteners, a pound coin or three, an elastic band, a comb and usually a folded up polythene bag. Well he was a scout leader and obviously was still 'prepared' for most eventualities. We dissolved into laughter and once again Dad had saved the day.
ReplyDeleteThat was not an easy task, I remember doing my Mums pus my aunt and uncles, Mus sorted out my dads stuff. I just put the stuff in the clothes bank
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