I woke at 5 a.m. this morning, needing a wee, but couldn't settle when I got back into bed as it was too warm. I had spent most of the night uncovered/just a sheet on. The kitchen's the coolest room in the house - I would have been more comfortable on a camp bed in there. Anyway, this photo was taken about 5.20 or so. I missed the best bit - when it threw orange light along the top hall. By the time I'd run downstairs for my phone, it had gone behind the branches a bit. Lots of clouds moving about today and rain has been forecast (hooray). I am fed up with hiding inside. Keith, many years ago, once said he'd love to retire to Cyprus as he loved the Med and had been in Cyprus with the Army. It wouldn't have done for me . . . 36 deg. C there at the moment, and 40 next week! Eeek.
Yesterday I had Christmas in July and sewed together the little Christmas Kitties charm pack I bought - more Christmas than Kitties and annoyingly, I can see it going off on the last two squares bottom right, so out with the stitch ripper shortly. Then I will put the wide borders on - Christmas Kitties Frost and Midnight colourways. It will be a little cushion for Rosie at Christmas. Nothing too arduous in the way of sewing.
I sat and composed a conciliatory letter to E. With some advice from Tam (you can't say THAT!) I do hope that she might understand my state of mind when Keith was dieing, but with her problems, she may not. In which case, that's it.
How I hate it when labels go missing (probably buried when I planted this Buddleia.) This is the one on the bank that I thought was Dark Knight, but is clearly a red or pink named one. The butterflies don't care, they love it.
Here's the standard one, which was covered in Peacocks and Red Admirals this week. There has clearly been a hatching and they are doing well. There were the usual Small/Large Whites, a couple of Tortoiseshells, Meadow Browns and some Ringlets on it too. I was standing by the door to nowhere, watching them.
That will bea bright and jolly little cushion!
ReplyDeleteYes, mornings are beautiful..but we don't always appreciate them!!
A letter is a good idea..and well done Tam for assisting..yes, sometimes you can't say what needs to be said..but hopefully it will be read and considered.
I've stopped watching live TV.. theres enough interesting stuff online that I can watch when I choose ... without paying extra..
Well, I wrote out a letter and got T to check it and amend - some of the sharper bits were removed . . . I just need her to understand what I was going through as she seemed to think I should have had my emotions totally under control and I explained at the time, that truly was NOT possible.
DeleteI can't get live tv apart from BBC - that's a cunning system isn't it?! Need a new aerial but too mean as I am managing quite well with what I have, although of course, still paying the blardy licence fee. . .
We haven't had many butterflies this year but we have had lots of ladybirds, something we haven't seen much of for the last few years and they are 'proper' ladybirds too, not the invasive foreign harlequins.
ReplyDeleteWe have both really gone off Bargain Hunt. There is too much shrieking and playing up to the camera from the contestants now. It seems to have turned into just another game show, which is a shame and yes, they do increasingly seem to buy utter tat!
Until the hot spell, neither had we. I got bitten by a Ladybird when I was out in the yard last week. Reminded me of the scolding hot summer of 1976, when the hottest temperatures were recorded in Southampton - guess where I lived? Yup, you got it. We were at the Lido when a swarm of Ladybirds pounced on the naked bodies and began biting. I have read since that it was because there were none of their normal grub (Aphids) around. Guess it's the same these days.
DeleteI've been on BH a few times, as the dealer they bought from, but feel it's gone on too long now and is stale bread.
Shortage of butterflies here, made worse by the Buddleia disease that all my shrubs have suffered from, but like Tracy says above - lots of ladybirds.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, I hope the Buddleia disease doesn't reach us. I have only just got the old Buddleias on the bank restored to health and blooming nicely again.
DeleteA letter is a very good idea, and one that Tam has read before you send it a good way to do it. But do say what YOU want to say. If E. doesn't recognise that it was grief talking after this, that's her problem not yours. I speak from experience here as Mum said some terrible things to my son and brother in the months following my Dad's death, she nearly split the family apart, but we all took a step back and calmed down.
ReplyDeleteI never really got on with Bargain Hunt, I always thought that they did it all the wrong way around. After all they buy at antique fairs and sell at auctions. A lot of people selling at antique fairs BUY their stuff from the auctions. A far better competition would be to give each pair of competitors a set amount of money, and see how much they can turn it into at an antique fair.
Yes, she just changed the order I said things in. I don't think E realizes how grief works, how it hits you, how you can suffer premature grief when you husband is dieing and you are desperately trying to keep him alive.
DeleteAh well, with BH it has to be that way round - I have had some stock for years because the right buyer hasn't come along yet and it's always been the same for other dealer friends. Just when you contemplate giving it to the charity shop, it sells. They have to have an on-the-day sale so auction it is. Sometimes it pays off if it is a rare item and even the experts are shown as not to know everything!
Hope your letter does the trick. Fingers crossed for you all. And Danny must find it hard being stuck in the middle and loving both of you. My buddleia is covered in ladybirds and we seem to have a lot more wasps round this year. Definitely cooler today. I've been into town and had a haircut, came home and had a lovely shower to get rid of all the itchy bits. Xx
ReplyDeletePerhaps it won't. She expected an apology because I "made her homeless". If she had had any sense she would just have gone to her mum's to stay for a few weeks . . .
DeleteI've not seen many wasps, just the one ladybird (and that BIT me!) but masses of bees and bumblebees and small insects. Definitely cooler - had a nap on the sofa and woke up with a freezing left hand (not under the blanket).
Yes, poor Danny is stuck in the middle. He seemed very relieved to hear that I had written to Emma, but perhaps my letter will just be perceived as "excuses".
DeleteI hope the letter clears things up. I think I would have avoided explanations and just said I was so sorry she had been frightened and hurt by the incident, that you want to be on better terms. It seems she will never understand or care about your point of view.
ReplyDeleteYour grief outburst has been teaching me to be tolerant. My once best friend just lost her husband to dementia [2 months ago], and last week she unloaded a bunch of rather cruel person criticisms and comments on me. I don't think we will ever be friends again, 35 years!, but now I understand why she was so unkind to me. Have to admit I am a bit broken by it all tho....
We'll have to see. I feel that so much water has gone under the bridge, any relationship in the future is going to be strained, at best. Like with the farmer - you can't cut my throat and put a sticking plaster on it. I'm sorry the way your friend behaved in her grief. Perhaps she wasn't feeling very empathic, and is hurting so much it made her lash out. We are all only human and grief is a long and winding path.
DeleteI am sorry for my friend's grief and have stood by her as best I know how. I can try to forgive but some words cannot be unsaid, they are not a part of friendship. Re: midges etc---this is why in the US screens for windows are used. They are custom sized and last forever w rescreening every ten years. I know tho they are not used in UK.
DeleteGill said the same thing I was going to say: you both love the same man. Grief is a hard time, and it often results in hard words. I hope that you both can see the hurt in each other and can move past it.
ReplyDeleteYou've both hit the nail on the head. It is so difficult - I hardly see him and he has never been any good at keeping in touch, even when he was travelling the world. I was never nasty to E, it was my reaction to desperately trying to cope whilst Keith was dieing - she felt I should be totally in control which was, of course, impossible.
DeleteIt has been stinking hot and humid here too. I'm hoping E will be receptive to your letter. She seems OK with little I visiting you so perhaps there is hope. Few families can say they all get along but it is a pain in the you know what to have to tip toe around certain people all the time. I've got a couple of people who cause me to hold my tongue and oh is it tough. They will never have a real relationship with me, their loss.
ReplyDeleteYes, I said to Danny that my main worry was that I would never see my grandchildren when they have their family, but he has promised me that won't be the case.
DeleteI'm sorry your life is blighted by those people who have you treading on eggshells.
I was going to suggest you buy a window air conditioner for your bedroom, for sleeping. Summers are not going to get any cooler and proper rest is so And often cannot be fitted into your historic windows. important, as you know. But as I laboriously researched online, I guess they are not very available in UK. They aren't very expensive here, but I guess not an option for you, too bad.
ReplyDeleteWell, I would have the window open but don't want assaults by midnight forays from Midges or Gnats! I will survive. I have a friend whose house is suffocating in a normal summer, let alone weather like this, so I am quite well off. At least the kitchen always stays cool.
DeleteI love the cushion. Look at all those butterflies. I have seen very few this year so far, hopefully they will be showing up very soon.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I will share some more butterflies tomorrow, as we had a Special Visitor yesterday.
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