Monday 26 December 2016


Boxing Day morning and I was awake at 6 a.m.  I haven't been sleeping well for the past couple of weeks, and I think the events of the past 5 weeks, from the time of Tricia's death have all combined to hit me with a BIG wallop.  Preparing for last Monday's viewing took its toll and the hope we had so briefly, then snatched away didn't help matters.

The responsibility of trying to make Christmas perfect for everyone is a huge one, and I lost the plot when I had about a dozen things in the oven and veg steaming on top, and a rapidly-cooling turkey on the side, and I went and watched 15 minutes of Singing in the Rain and left my more-than-capable family to make gravy and take things out when ready.  I just couldn't make my brain multi-task any longer . . . They'd all been a great help preparing the veg and stuffing etc, but brain fog just caught up with me.  I am sure that is familiar to many a mum who doesn't have the option of walking away.

I will try and manage to do a slightly longer walk today than yesterday's, but right now my brain is still SO tired and I just want to read a book (I'm 1/3 way into Raven Black by Ann Cleeves and really enjoying it.)

I haven't had much appetite and suddenly realized at 3 p.m. yesterday I'd not had lunch - just a couple of the chocolates from middle daughter.  Ah well, all to the good, as I started to lose weight again and a further pound had gone on Christmas Eve - then I had wine and crisps in the evening so it's back on again, but it won't be there long.

I hope that you all had a lovely Christmas.  We will be back to work tomorrow as we have the post-Christmas Fleamarket on Carmarthen Showground.  I think I will be in bed around 7 p.m. tonight! NO alcohol either, as that seems to have fried my remaining neural connections . . .  I haven't overdone it at all, but drinking for 3 days in a row has frazzled my brain.

Update: NOT the alcohol or overdoing things or not processing everything that has been happening these past couple of weeks, but my husband's germs - he had been complaining of his brain not working in the run up to Christmas, being tired out all the time - now he has kindly passed it on to me.  I took some Panadol earlier on and they helped a bit, but I can barely keep my eyes open . . .  NOT looking forward to being on parade at 5 a.m. tomorrow morning, that's for sure.

Further update: think we'll join the queue at 7.30 insteaad of 6.30 and just be further away from the doors for unloading.

Also, my problems are zilch when I think of the miserable Christmas Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall must have had following her miscarriage.  My thoughts are with them and I hope her next pregnancy is successful, whenever it happens.


  1. I would wager that ALL that's been going on these past few weeks has left your immune system vulnerable to every 'germ' floating about. Its one of the least lovely aspects of the holiday season.
    We've never been elaborate in our Christmas doings, but have been steadily easing it down over the past few years--it is mainly the women of the family that make holidays 'happen'--and there comes a point where the uproar is too much!
    I hope you can have some early and restful nights.

    1. I meant to add that I think you'll like Ann Cleeves. I've just bought the latest in her Shetland series, "Thin air"--and looking forward to working my way through the older books again, staring with 'Raven Black.'
      The 'Vera'series are good mysteries as well--I think you have them as a TV series in England [?]

    2. Love her. 3/4 way through Raven Black now and just ordered it as part of the first four novels as cheaper buying them that way than downloading them to the Kindle. I didn't know you were a fan too. have you come across Phil Rickman yet? I'm waiting for his new one to come out on 5th January (and hopefully get cheaper then too!)

      I was thinking this morning, Christmas could be just a big vat of tasty soup and crusty bread next year - and one present each!!!

  2. Bad luck and typical timing for a bug to hit you, at least you had the family there to help. Perhaps the Fleamarket will be kind to you tomorrow.

    1. The family were brilliant - next year I could get Danny to do it single handed as he has cooked C/lunch for 20 when he was in Oz. He's very organized (I'm not too bad usually, when my brain is in residence).

      I slept on the sofa this afternoon after resting watching the racing, and the Panadol I took seemed to help, so that is the way forward tomorrow after a very early night.

  3. Some day the Brain Fog just hits and there is nothing you can do about it.
    I am sure everyone enjoyed the day.
    Love you photo of the lamp, beautiful

    cheers, parsnip

  4. Thanks Parsnip. Permanent brain fog would be most unwelcome.

    The lamp is just glitzy baubles with some gold fairy lights tumbled amongst them. The glass and metal display came from the last Malvern, and was exactly what I was looking for.

  5. Wretched bugs, but it sounds as if you had a feast on Xmas, don't push yourself too hard, you should not even be going to a 'fleamarket' but resting...

  6. Hah - no chance of that Thelma, as Keith couldn't manage on his own, and as for his laying out my side of the stall - nah, HAD to go! It was worth it, and it's always great to see old customers and all our Antiques friends.

  7. Sorry to hear you've been feeling like this, what rubbish timing for it to hit but as suggested, your immune system will be at rock bottom with all you have gone through. Catch 22 :(
    Take care of yourself xx