If you met me (well, some of you have!) you would probably put me down as a fairly confident person - which I am, up to a point. But there are always issues which lurk in my subconscious, and which would tend to push my panic button.
Whilst I am happy to drive long distances, I'm not at my happiest driving on motorways, and joining a busy motorway - especially the M25 - requires me to take my fears and shove them in a mental cupboard before I can cope with it. Driving on the M6 around Manchester's not too much fun either. I once had a panic attack as I joined the M25 as I had got myself so worked up, and believe me, it is not an experience I would want to repeat. However, once I have actually "done the deed", my confidence levels soar. When I got back from driving up to Aberdeenshire and back for an Archaeological Dig, I had so much confidence that I volunteered to collect my m-in-law from Essex, and coped admirably with the dreaded M25.
How easy it is, however, to persuade yourself that you really CANNOT do something - can't deal with a new piece of equipment - in fact, this post has been prompted by a new follower of mine, the Village Queen over at Butterhill Dreaming, who had been putting off using a new gizmo and when she finally got around to it, wished she'd not left it so long as it saved her so much time and effort!
When your confidence takes a knock or when a family member makes pointed remarks about your inability to programme a recording on Sky, or even use the DVD player (you know who you are!!) then you begin to believe this propoganda! Now and then I force myself to get out of my comfort zone - and though it is a trite and over-used expression it is very apt - and sometimes I surprise myself that I CAN actually manage. I'm not the prisoner I sometimes think I am!
- all the same, the next time I climb to the top of a church or castle tower, I don't think I will persuade myself to look DOWN without feeling giddy!
