Tuesday 28 October 2014

There's nowt as queer as folk . . .

Photo - view taken in the Usk valley this summer.

I was prompted into remembering this old saying today and several times recently.  Today, we visited our middle daughter G in Swansea, and G and I went to the sewing shop (I wasn't TOO naughty, but suffice it to say it has a very good selection of patchwork materials!) and to get some lunch, and on our outward journey, a rather down-at-heel looking homeless immigrant man who had been selling the Big Issue (or trying to) was involved in an altercation with a fat slob of a man, twice his size, and out of his head on either booze or drugs.    The slobby man had cornered a hapless bod in a uniform of sorts who was responsible for handing out tickets for dropping litter in the Precinct.  Slobby Man obviously thought he represented authority and was shouting at him, saying " 'e 'ad my money an' 'e wone givvit back . . ."  On our return, two police officers, one male and a wee lass, were involved and by the sound of things the poor foreign Big Issue chap was having the worst of the deal.  My gut feeling told me he was the looser in this and that the slobby chap was the one in the wrong . . .  Life seems so unfair - perhaps I am wrong in my assumption, but as an empath, I don't think so.  Likewise, I will try not to dwell on the beautiful young man near the Bus Station, who was also a homeless immigrant, with barely a word of English, and also trying to sell the Big Issue.  I shook my head as we got near, mouthing "Sorry", as I knew I had no change.  I still feel bad about that - he looked so vulnerable.

In recent weeks, we have come across several couples who aren't struggling for money at all,  as they have been interested in some of the things we have to sell at the Unit or at the last Fleamarket we did.  I cannot understand how some people manage to keep a marriage together when one of them is so totally intolerant of their partner's needs and pleasures.  I have to say, in each case it was the woman who was at fault.  One woman said, "Over my dead body" when her husband suggested buying a military helmet we had on display.  Another man agreed to buy a collector's item we had, but he had to do it behind his wife's back.   Several men have expressed interest in militaria, only to say that "their wife wouldn't let them have it" (I have visions of a Norah Batty type harpy at home . . .) and the most recent example was a chap showing his wife a ship's wheel of ours he was about to buy, only to come back in crestfallen and take it back to our Unit . . .

Is this a proper relationship?  Is each person aware of the interests of the other?  Don't they take pleasure in seeing their partner happy and enjoying something they have bought? (and we are not talking big money here) or do they always put their needs and interests first?  Don't they talk things through?  I could go on, but basically I can't see that this sort of controlling and selfish attitude is a good basis for a long term partnership. . . .  It's no wonder the divorce rates are so high.  In my marriage, my money is my husband's money, and his is mine.  We share the bills and the paying of them, just as we share the worries, and of course the good times.  We talk things through. We plan things - TOGETHER - as a couple.  We aren't perfectly suited in our temperaments and occasionally we fall out, but we are soon back on an even keel again and never go to sleep on an argument and we have so many shared interests that they are part of the glue holding us together as a couple.

 Ah well, as the North country saying goes, "There's nowt as queer as folk . . ."


  1. I agree with you. My husband and I "share and share alike" and enjoy seeing each other enjoying their favorite things. I also thought of Nora Batty when I was reading this! :- )

  2. Ha ha .. we too 'see all the world ' at the car boot. Wehave a couple of Gentlemen that hide and sneak things they have bought into the car .. so the wife wont see! I wouldn't car .. its usually costs only a few pounds .. or a little book .. 'nowt as queer as folk'!
    I had a lady today moaning about the price of wool .. she knits for charity (prem babies etc) .. and she was 'on the dole you know'.. so no money .. she actually said .. 'you would think 'they' would give me the wool to keep me occupied'! .. I think she thought I should give her the buttons free too ..interestingly she smelt absolutely awful .. a heavy smoker I should think ...
    She paid for the buttons .. ha ha !

    Vicky x

  3. How I agree with this BB - I am sure that when you are on a stall selling things you see the very worst aspects of a relationship. I did read somewhere that money is the prime source of many a divorce.

  4. Jan - some of these woman are definitely Norahs in the making!

    Vicky - oh yes, we meet 'em all. Don't get me started on the "experts"!!! I'm glad you got the mean lady "on the dole" (ahem . . .) to pay up for buttons. Sometimes they seem to think we are a charity and as for tv antiques programmes - they think that they can offer 1/16th of the price we have on someone and we will grovel and thank them!!!

    Pat - oh yes, the world and his wife can be very interesting! Money is the root of all evil so they say . . .

  5. That's a very interesting and truthful observation of couples. I do sometimes find myself saying...I dislike something or other that hubby has seen, and he is much more tolerant of the things I like...however I would not stop him buying something he loved or wanted in this way, it is unkind at the very least.

  6. Totally agree with you. I have coupled friends who bicker constantly about EVERYTHING and this seems to just be the way it is. OB said to M the other day:
    "I hope you and Mum never get married because married people argue all the time".
    How sad is that? This is a result of spending time with pretty much all of his friends' parents who happen to be married....but for how long?

  7. Honestly, didn't the wife know or understand some of the husbands interest before marriage ? Or after retirement ? Goodness how awful that they can't see or have a moment to talk to each other.

    cheers, parsnip

  8. Sad to hear of couples where one is so selfish. My best hubby and I have shared Every Single Thing for nearly thirty years-we both have our own interests and we support each other's fun times. We love a lot of the same things and only wish physically we were in better shape and could do some traveling...