I make no exaggeration when I write that I was awake for pretty much all of the night, and am absolutely wrung out and exhausted today. I know going out for a walk would be a good thing, or some gentle gardening, but it's all I can do to stay upright. I have managed to strip (and after a sleep) remake my bed and did some ironing earlier on (but only to warm up). I watched a really good video from Nicola White Tideline Art, where she shared her other passion, going to car boot sales and fleamarkets, and her find of a little book of watercolours dated around and just after WW1. The paintings were of the Scilly Isles and Nicola visited them, and paired up with another mudlarking friend who was a resident artist down there. SO much archaeology - I remember a lecture at Uni where we were shown slides of a drowned landscape (Lyonesse?!) and stone walls reminiscent of the Dartmoor Reeves marching into the water, and aerial shots of dark areas which were stone burial chambers. Now, I really WOULD love a holiday there . . .
Ah yes, my holiday. I still cannot get myself excited about it - I still view it with trepidation and anxiety. Lack of sleep definitely doesn't help me. Once I'm there, I will love it, but I cannot even bring myself to look up any of the archaeology or places we are visiting. This is very unlike me, but grief works in strange ways. I must try and motivate myself and get a suitable suitcase down from the attic. I need to get insect repellent (I ordered it after writing that). Avon Skinsosoft is brilliant, and I need to get some wet-wipes for hand cleaning whilst out.
Sarah - Deirdre le Faye's book about Jane Austen has just arrived. I am reading the chapter on Southampton, since I know it so well. A shame that the house they rented in Castle Square, with its beautiful garden, which sounded absolutely lovely was long gone even before So'ton was so heavily bombed in WWII. I imagine it must have been fairly close to the Tudor House Museum in Upper Bugle Street. It's lovely to think of them picnicking in the ruins of Netley Abbey when her brother Edward Knight and his family and crossing the Solent by boat to visit Hythe. All places I know well of course.
Right, this won't do. I must stir my stumps, as mum used to say - an expression which has survived hundreds of years (recorded in Elizabethan times).
Update: had a short but brisk walk. Then went and got my hair trimmed in town. There's a small hairdressers who are often busy, but weren't when I went past, so I went in to book a trim and she did me there and then, pensioners' rate! At least it won't look like I have cut it myself if I find I can't use my tongs in Jordan. Sure Gabby has an adaptor if needed though.
Good sleep is so important, you've had unsettled days and nights for a long time now. You stil get lots done, that's a good sign.
ReplyDeleteI will enjoy Nicola White's You Tube post, I'm a fan!
Who will care for your kitties while you're on vacation? Will you be away more than a week? I wonder what the weather is like in Jordan and does it get cold at night? Must you be respectful and cover your hair if not your face always? Just curious.
lizzy
Tam and Rosie are here. Jon too a couple of nights. Tam has to go back for 24 hours, so then Danny will be here to look after them. Or else I would NOT be going!
ReplyDeleteThat Nicola White post was SO good and had made me want to go to the Scilly Isles.
Dress code is covered shoulders, no dress above knees, be respectful inside a mosque and put scarf over head etc. No cleavage on show.
i have been reading and enjoying your blog for a long time and dont really comment but being a widow who doesnt sleep well i have to tell you how much this podcast has helped me its called Nothing much happens, i am sleeping so much better, it took me a couple of times to get used to it but see how you go x
ReplyDeleteHello Anon, so pleased to hear from you. I tried that podcast out last night, and it did seem to help. I slept better (though still tired) and it was noticable that my breathing slowed down whilst I was listening to this. She certainly has the right languid, soporific voice/speed of delivery. I did try shutting cats out but there was an insistent yowling from the other side of the door which was clearly not going to help matters! So THANKYOU, and please keep in touch, and perhaps use an anonymous initial, so I know it is you?
DeleteI do hope you get some good sleep. Pretty sure once you are on your holiday you will be very excited about the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Me too, as I am drained. I think all the stress, anxiety and worry and grief has just brought me to my knees.
DeleteThings always seem overwhelming when you are tired. As far as the holiday i think you will just have to go with the flow. Let everyone do the thinking and organising for you and hopefully when you are completely relaxed you can start enjoying it. I find having to talk to strangers, like you do on holiday, very draining. Now I turn into a Jane Austen character and say, I am in delicate health, please excuse me, I must lay down. Goodness knows what they think but I am highly pleased with myself to have succesfully escaped.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I will gradually get myself together - not so frightened of the holiday now, and getting things right. I'm not too bothered about speaking to strangers, just doing the wrong thing in a country where social rules are very different.
DeleteDon’t bank on enjoying your holiday but do what Susan says, go with the flow.
ReplyDeleteI went on holiday with a relative and as I’d expected I really didn’t enjoy it, my sleeping pattern was all over the place. BUT…I’m so glad I did it because it’s what she wanted and it made her happy that I’d gone along with her.