I slept badly, was up at 5 a.m., have worked flat out and reached the end of the day with the realization that Alfie is continuing to look slim in the flanks. He drinks more than the others, so it's possibly kidney problems and he will have to be taken to the vet. The last thing I needed. I am still feeling low after yesterday, so first thing I ironed the top Keith liked me wearing, and have that on now. Being here alone is always hard when I am down. Keith and I were always doing things together, and until he died, I had only lived on my own for 6 weeks in my entire life. As you can imagine, loneliness lurks. I had to get out today, so as I had forgotten the stir fry sauce, and had a short list of other essentials, I took myself off to Llandod. It was good to get out of the house, and I had a little car picnic and read some of my book.
All my kids have phoned today after Gabby found out I was feeling low. I have such a wonderful family.
How kind your kids are to call and support you. I am a widow too. A book that helped me is The Widow's Journey written by Gayle Roper, a Christian writer.
ReplyDeleteWe bought them up to be caring and compassionate. I will see if I can get that book through the Library, thankyou for recommending it.
DeleteYour flowers are so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that you never lived alone except those 5 weeks. I can see that adding to your discomfort and loneliness, I m so sad for you. (i was married for years, but we were not close, parallel lives], I missed having that joy, I guess.]
What you did--get dressed, run errands, have car picnic sound perfect antidotes. Your children are so kind and loving. Sending hope for better days ahead.
love
lizzy
The photos don't do them credit. The house doesn't feel right with only me in it - only when I have any of the family here does life feel "right".
DeleteI needed to get out of the house yesterday and as the weather was lovely, thought of going out "somewhere" but all the places I fancied going were a fair drive away, so I compromised.
So glad your family is looking out for you. Love the yellow and pink columbine.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
They all vary slightly. I bought treasured one with me from Ynyswen, our old house, and have it in half a dozen places now.
DeleteI have a good family. Gabby's coming over on Sunday and Tam and Rosie here overnight tomorrow.
I do very well living on my own, have done so many times in the past, could use help now but that's different. However, when I found myself alone not out of my choice it was a very different feeling to when it was my choice. Thank God for your supportive family!
ReplyDeleteLove the Lark Ascending rose, love the piece of music too!
I hope today is easier for you.
ReplyDeleteYour flowers are gorgeous - I've got almost no colour in the border, everything has shrunk as the Magnolias take over
Grief is a process. Your heart is taking a beating.
ReplyDelete