Morning all. Waiting for Gabby to arrive. I'm afraid she is going to be presented with a long list of little chores that I have absolutely NO energy to tackle. By the time I've got Keith out of bed, to the bathroom, dressed and breakfasted, I have to lie down on the sofa pronto. I have the tv on in the background in the hope it will lull me to sleep, but this morning's weird Sherlock Holmes meets Steam Punk with dastardly brother Moriarty flying a Phoenix type bird (and presumably operating the dinosaur in the East End of London too) was weird enough to keep me awake.
Keith's breathing is easier now he's on some antiobiotics that WORK (I got the GP to dispense Doxycyline which are specific to chest infections.
I was fortunate to be able to buy (only £35) a more lightweight wheelchair on Ebay, but then had to somehow gird my loins to drive to Newtown and back to collect it. For the first time in my life I asked someone outside of the family for help, as I was desperate and could barely drag myself from room to room, but it wasn't convenient for her. Well, I will never ask for her help again. I managed, but it was totally exhausting and to concentrate on driving for an hour each way wiped me out entirely. At least we have one upstairs, and one downstairs now - Keith can barely move at all after late afternoon so a wheelchair is essential.
Danny went home yesterday, having been here nearly 10 days bless him. Emma and little "I" were missing him and he them. So now we have to shift for ourselves, but I did get him to drag the big bean bag downstairs in case for Keith to sleep on if I couldn't get him up the stairs to bed last night (somehow we managed). I could cope if I wasn't so exhausted. I am still forcing myself to eat - whatever I can get down so it was a bowlful of left-over curry this morning and an apple. I have absolutely no appetite whatsoever. Keith was eating quite well until teatime yesterday when all he could face was a piece of toast.
Anyway, I have found the folder with the latest photos in with Danny's help, but need to get Gabby to change the display so I can actually see what the photos are, rather than them just having a number.
My thanks to all of you for your support. 3 weeks in, I am feeling worse than when I HAD Covid. Not much fun. Let's hope we both improve soon.
Ohh, I feel for you. I really, really feel for you and I am nearly in tears just thinking about your situation. I know myself how bliddy hard it is to ask for help. You push on for so long and then eventually you have to give in and ask s o to be knocked back like you had to face when you asked for help is unforgivable. I have had to face up to having one neighbour watch me struggle from his side of the wall. and he stood there laughing at me. When someone can see you are in need and they turn you down flat, I have no words for people like that. I have no time for them. The only thing you can do is draw a line under it. Remember what she did and how she treated you and turned the whole thing over to Karma. I wished I lived closer, and I wish I was well enough to help.
ReplyDeleteI know Debbie. I also know if you were nearer and fitter you would step up to the mark - and I wish I could do the same for you too as I know how difficult it must be for you on bad days. I cannot believe your neighbour's behaviour - that is just despicable. In my friend's defence, she had someone in doing work in her house. That said, I have done two HUGE favours for her in the recent past and I think she has a short memory.
DeleteI'm so sorry you are both so poorly. You can get both manual and power wheelchairs supplied free from the NHS on long term loan. They come out and assess you then the chair is delivered and they also keep it serviced. My husband has just got one and will also get a manual one for take in the car. You have to be referred by physiotherapist or doctor and must have an up to date eye test. It is hard enough coping in the situation as I am well although in my 70's but worse as you are poorly too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jean. It's the time it takes to set everything into motion that is the difficulty. I HAD to have that chair here last night. There seems to be a delay of weeks/months on some things. We are now in a queue to be assessed for Carers . . . I am 71, but thank heavens I'm a good bit younger than Keith so can manage far better than if we were the same age.
DeleteSo sorry that you are not feeling any better yet, everything certainly is extra hard work when you are not 100%.
ReplyDeleteAre you still trying for a carer or respite care? I worry you will be worn out very soon
It's dragging itself out that's for sure - with me, as I can't really rest. I just need Keith's mobility to turn a corner. Pretty worn out, but I seem to be tougher than I gave myself credit for.
DeleteI'm so sorry you are both struggling. If politicians could see how you and others have to struggle with the bare minimum of help, I would hope they change things, but I doubt it (sigh). Your neighbour will get her come-uppance, if you are nasty to people it will always come back to you. Hope you and Keith have a better week. Love and hugs Gill Xx
ReplyDeletePoliticians only care about themselves I reckon Gill. It was a friend who couldn't help, though she offered to get the wheelchair today, but I needed it yesterday. I don't think she realized quite how difficult things have been here. That said, I will keep myself to myself in future. I have done two HUGE things for her since I've known her.
DeleteYou are really going through it and at this stage it must feel like it is never going to end. Is there any hope for some professional help?
ReplyDeleteYup, the mangle has been working overtime. I keep thinking, what next?! I felt very very slightly better tonight - Gabby told me to go and have a soak in the bath and I took my book in and have been reading ever since. Hopefully we are nearing the improving on all angles state now. Will be phoning about Speech and Language Therapy to help his swallowing as I find it difficult to understand what he is saying when he's tired.
DeleteStill here worrying for you both. This time of year is not the best to get ill, it is so miserable. So keep on fighting for those things you want. Did the cats get the chicken? I would have been cross if they did.
ReplyDeleteOh Thelma, don't worry. We are managing, somehow, and Danny &Co back on Friday to help out. I have eaten a little bit more today and actually enjoyed my tea, so that's a positive.
DeleteThe Chicken made SUCH a palaver when one of the kittens ran for it, they disappeared in the opposite direction!
Who did you ask for help--- a neighbor? So hard, hard even to ask family, and then for you to be refused. I'd have done my best to help if not thousands of miles away. Your Danny is a hero [as are you!]---so much strength and determination. You raised good kids, be proud. How did Danny manage not to get Covid too? A small blessing.
ReplyDeleteThis all must be very difficult too for your husband, being so frail and needing . Beyond the covid. [doxycycline immediately cured my sinus infection and cough last winter. I don't know why it is not used so much, sure works!]
I think of you often, with care and admiration. You are so strong. [I hope not being intrusive, forgive me if so]
healing wishes and prayers, from lizzy x
No, she was the closest friend I've made since moving here. Clearly she doesn't know me very well, as she didn't recognize a scream for help when she heard one.
DeleteDanny is an absolute HERO - stepped straight up to the mark with getting Keith to the loo, in and out of the shower, dressed, helping him into bed - hell, practically carrying him there. He, Emma and "I" are back this coming weekend. They are all brilliant kids - well, adults in their 30s now - and I put them first throughout their childhood. It paid off as they would do anything for us. Unfortunately Danny got Covid, but hasn't been too bad with it - at least he said he wasn't. He still carried on with the caring role.
I am having to be stronger than I ever thought possible these past few weeks. I'm not perfect - still get nowty when I should be endlessly patient, but getting Keith to bed is such a worry and I can crack sometimes.
Thanks Lizzy, for your healing wishes and prayers, and kind words.
Oh my gosh. I cannot imagine refusing to help someone because it was inconvenient. That is awful. I wish we all lived nearby. We could at least bring meals in.
ReplyDeleteShame on that neighbour. Your life is such a struggle at the moment and she couldn't find time to help? You're lucky that your family were able to step in before but they can't be there all the time. It's dreadful that people are expected to be carers until they're totally worn out, collapse or worse and then maybe some help arrives. Hoping that you soon regain your strength and that things improve for both you and Keith.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry your friend didn't step up when needed. I've had friends fail as well and it really is distressing. I hope you are resting now, sleeping as you need it badly. And thank goodness your son is coming back to help next weekend. It sounds like your children have really stepped up. You and Keith raised them well.
ReplyDeleteI do so hope you both improve very soon. I am sending healing thoughts over the pond.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
So sorry you are both so poorly still. Do you have any news on help from carers coming in to assist? Your children are certainly such a help though. Sending healing thoughts and thinking of you.
ReplyDeletePlease rest as much as you can. I pushed myself during covid, then double pneumonia it was only when i got pleurisy as an add on that i realised i could not cope!
ReplyDeleteCan you not get a commode for Keith? Or even male bedpans?
You can't keep breaking your sleep like this.
Have a look on line. You get mobility places selling them.
My heart breaks for uou with your friend. I had the same from my only sister. She kicked me when i was down and laughed in my face saying she didn't need to be nice to me now both our parents were dead.
I will never, ever forgive her but i broke my heart over it.
I am so sorry you are having such an awful time. Do try another neighbor other than that creepy one. I wish there was church affiliation or social services that might help.
ReplyDeleteRe your photo files. This may help if you have the same set up on the PC as I do. Go to the page where you can see all your picture folders. In the top left hand corner of the screen you should be able to see - File, Home, Share, View. Click on view and you should see the options for extra large, large or small icons. Click on one of those and you will get a picture on each folder. Hope that(or Gabby) helps.
ReplyDeleteOh Jen x I feel helpless reading your posts- I wish I could help. I hope to goodness something eases soon, you can’t go on like this xx Danette xx
ReplyDelete