Thursday 26 May 2022

Beyond Weary

 


Chocolate apple cake and Scotch rolls.  First baking I've done in ages.  Like a lot of things, his has gone by the wayside since moving here.  Last year was a real first for things I'd NOT made which I had made regularly in the past.  


Aquilegias which have grown since I pulled the weed membrane up - probably seeds dormant in the ground for 15 years or so as the membrane was totally perished.  I've never seen such large flowers - about 2 inches across.

    Yesterday we drove across two counties for K's appt. with the private specialist.  We got a diagnosis and one is not normally delighted to get the diagnosis we got, BUT there is treatment and we are no longer in the dark over what is happening. It was money well spent and I am grateful for being in a position to afford it. Watch this space.  My shoulders immediately dropped a foot (from around my ears) and I was letting out huge breaths from all the pent-up tensions of the last year and more.

    We came back via Ledbury so K could see the Titian painting (The Last Supper - guess who just wrote Breakfast! - I said I was tired) in St Michael and all Angels church.  He was tottering by then - all that time in the car not helpful - just looked for a minute or two at the painting and vowed to come back when he's walking better and can see round the entire church.  I popped into Hay wines to see if the Greek white wine Tam and I love was back in stock.  To my amazement, after a loooooong time with none, it had come in that very morning, and so a bottle certainly had my name on it!

    I stopped briefly at a garden centre on the way back, saying to Keith I probably wouldn't be long as last time I was there I came out empty-handed.  The same thing happened.  They had some lovely Clematis with huge flowers - for the best part of £27 each!!!  Trying it on came to mind.  Also a bronzey Foxglove I grew one year at our old home (before it died in the winter) and that was the only thing I might have bought, had it not been priced at £15.99.

    We had supper courtesy of the chippy and by the time I got there, it was 6 hours since anything had passed my lips and I was famished.  I can honestly say I have never drooled before, smelling food cooking, but I did last night!  There was nothing bar grease left on our plates by the time we'd eaten!

    I slept deeply until 2.45 and was then awake till gone 6 a.m.  Dropped back to sleep until 9 and got up and had breakfast, and then had to go back to bed as I was just so exhausted.  I am officially Doing as Little as Possible today.


Deeply grateful for:  A diagnosis; a beautiful garden; living in a beautiful place; an unending pile of books to read!

    




24 comments:

  1. I feel a sense of relief on your part. Diagnosis may not be as you wanted it but there is treatment and Keith must be relieved. Garden centres are charging exorbitant prices, last time I spent just under a hundred pounds for hardware for my daughter's yard with the software of plants as well of course but the price of individual plants can be hellishly expensive.
    Those scotch rolls look lovely, fancy one now;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Diagnosis was pretty well as we expected Thelma, despite GP saying otherwise. Just praying that the treatment will work - Consultant sounded VERY positive that it would. Garden centres seem to close ranks and there aren't many "cheaper" ones, although there's a lovely one at Crossgate which propogate a lot of their plants and are more competitive. I've spent a goodly bit on plants here already. Would like some more structural pieces (hardware) but will put those on the Christmas list.

      Delete
  2. I hope that you feel a little perkier, and also hope that K's treatment is successful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks JayCee. I have MADE myself rest today - went down the town earlier for some shelf/picture hangers for K and had to park up by the church and walk the length of the High Street, which finished me off completely! I have been watching the Chelsea Flower Show programmes I recorded, and am very inspired now. Tea is going to be a very simple one tonight.

      Delete
  3. Yes to all of your last sentence BB. We have to be thankful for what we have here and now. We are looking forward to the weekend - for the first time since moving in April 2018 our children will be here visiting at the same time. Our daughter (who shares your birthday) has been battling her demons for the last four years but now after many false starts she seems to have turned a corner. My mother suffered with poor mental health and I too have struggled at various times but being in the moment, not worrying about the future or dwelling in the past is my way of coping. Have been gardening this morning, planting out tomatoes and cucumber and giving a dose of comfrey tea to my roses and other hungry plants, dividing Iris and tying in sweet peas - it has been a productive morning and since lunch I have been preparing food for the weekend including cake making. Look after yourself and I am so happy that you are no longer in the dark. Sarah x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sarah. How lovely to have all your children visiting this weekend. Hopefully the weather will be good and the Jubilee Celebrations much enjoyed. Hugs for you and your daughter and glad to hear she has turned a corner. One of our daughters had problems at one time and there just seems to be NO help at all through the NHS. One of her friends had truly awful problems yet was put out on the street!

      Comfrey is something I need to plant here. My sweet peas are slowly away but we'll get there with them. I am slowly achieving the things in the garden that I meant to do last year but had no heart for, so progress.

      Enjoy your baking and I shall think of you at the weekend.

      Delete
  4. Hugs sweetie, just take things steady. Having a label helps you make informed decisions about what you are dealing with and can make a difference how you approach things. Glad you got to indulge in some good home cooking. Hugs Tricia xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We now know what we are dealing with Tricia, just before we got to the wheelchair stage. I am feeling more positive today, and as you say, we can make more informed decisions.

      Delete
  5. So pleased you have a dignosis and that it is treatable and you have answers. The columbines look so beautiful. Perennials at garden centres are SO expensive :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just praying that the medication WILL work, but Consultant very positive about it. The Columbines are lovely. If you want seeds, shout out.

      Delete
  6. Knowing how desperate you both were for a diagnosis, I am glad you finally have one. Better the devil you know, than the hellish limbo land of no answers--no solutions. Hoping the treatment plan will soon improve not just Keith's life, but yours, too. Mary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Mary. We thought it was probably what it proved to be, but the GP said it wasn't! Bless her, she tried other possibilities to test for - you can't know everything I suppose.

      As we drove away, my thoughts were oh perhaps we can have a holiday now, and we should be able to enjoy going to Fairs together again. I was getting nearly as housebound as Keith and that is no fun.

      Delete
  7. It sounds as though a big step forward has been taken with diagnosis. A debilitating illness is a frightening thing to face. Hopefully there is a good treatment plan which will restore quality of life for you both. Do take some time to rest and regroup! The work ethics of our generation don't allow for much needed down time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes - annoying that all along the GP was adamant it was not this as presenting without the main symptom. I was unable to do anything yesterday as totally exhausted. You're right about our generation's work ethics! I feel guilty if I sit down to read the daily paper!

      Delete
  8. I can just imagine how utterly relieved you are for the diagnosis. Now that you know you can prepare.

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now we know what we are facing instead of being totally overwhelmed and in the dark.

      Delete
  9. So glad that you have a way forward with Keith’s health… I think stress makes you exhausted without doing anything extra, so good that you are taking the time to rest and dream of future gardens and outings..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps my blood pressure will improve now - it was raised when I had a recent retinal test. Stress is a bad bedmate, I have to say, but garden plans are keeping me positive and hopefully before long, K and I will be back to Malvern Fair again, and seeing old friends.

      Delete
  10. Even though it's not what you want to hear, a diagnosis that offers treatment is not bad. Let's hope it can begin soon. Your bakes look tempting indeed, and agree, the garden centre is trying it on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now I'm having trouble trying to get an appt. with the GP. I left a note for her last week after being blocked by a difficult receptionist.

      Delete
  11. Oh, how happy I am to read that Keith has a diagnosis. It's much easier to fight a monster when he's been called out of the dark place and named. This has been a very difficult time for the both of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As you say, monsters are easier to fight when named, but am worrying that being a variant, I have read that this might not respond so readily to treatment, yet the Consultant was very positive about that, so praying he is right.

      It's a combination of things, not in the least helped by Covid of course, and some problems presenting as plausible from the steroid treatment and Temporal Arteritis etc. The GP used one test which she thought was the only one for his diagnosis, not considering variants.

      Delete
  12. Morrisons in Aberystwyth have a really good selection of clematis at £2 each. I have a long back garden (in Borth) which I lined with trellis and got some amazing varieties last year. No room for any more so I'm having to resist checking the current offerings.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi Ruta, thanks for that. I bought half a dozen from them last year - when Lockdown was lifted I went a bit mad and stocked up on sensibly-priced plants there! Most of them have been ok and grown well, but a couple are not happy with where I bunged them so will have to be moved. It's hard to resist the lure of a really pretty one at that price isn't it? Fancy you being near Aber, where Eldest Daughter now lives.

    ReplyDelete