24 hours on, I can bring myself to write about it, but yesterday was just SO distressing. My stress levels are sky high as it is, as I never know from day to day whether at bed time, Keith isn't going to make it up the stairs and into bed. He has a wheelchair to the bottom of the stairs (I have the ramps we originally bought for the mobility scooter, which proved too short, but they're just right to go from the Library into the kitchen.) I never know at any meal whether he is going to choke or not, and it is distressing to see how difficult it is for him to move even a few steps these days, when it's a bad day. I can just about cope as long a each day goes smoothly. Each week it seems more like nursing and less like caring.
However, yesterday was the day from hell. About 11 a.m. I realized I hadn't seen Pippi since she went out just after 8 a.m. Normally she comes back every couple of hours to present us with a rodent, or use the "facilities". I went out and called her and could hear a piteous miowing from the grounds of the big house. I went in search, getting progressively more and more worried as I neared the biggest tree in the grounds, and she appeared to be in it. However, I could only hear her and not see her, but went to get my neighbour to see if we could get my ladder anywhere near. When he arrived, I had found Pippi about 30 feet up, and when I called her, she came right onto the end of a branch (it was a Balsam Fir) and I had to desperately encourage her back towards the trunk. She had gone up a U-shaped branch and couldn't get down it again and just sat on that then, yowling. It was clear that the ladder I'd got was going to fall short, even with the other sliding length. The neighbour went back home. I called our friend from across the valley and he came straight away, but even with both ladders we were still a good 15 feet short. He thought Pippi was a welfare issue because of the height she was at, but unfortunately the fire brigade won't come out unless summoned by the RSPCA and the RSPCA (when I finally got through to them) won't come out until a cat has been up there 24 hours. All these phone calls and I was getting nowere. As you can imagine, I was totally distraught at the thought of leaving her to be there overnight. I was just so desperate for an end to the fear and worry. Every time I went back to the tree I expected to find a little broken body on the ground.
As you can imagine, I was crying throughout - it truly was the final straw - she's my favourite, as you know, and the prospect of losing her . . . She insisted on coming and sitting (to look at the view?!) towards the end of a branch, and looked like a blardy Christmas Tree ornament. By now it was nearly 3 p.m. and I was getting so desperate - I headed up the hill to our next-door neighbour farmers and hearing my plight, they came down with 3 ladders. I was looking up into the tree to see if she was in the same place, but couldn't see her. One of the brothers asked if she was a little black and white cat. I said yes, and he pointed and said, like that one there, on the grass? It was her, little wretch, looking like she was peeved because I'd abandoned her! Oh my goodness, the RELIEF.
I didn't sleep well last night - I was awake from 1 a.m. till 5 a.m., reliving the day, and after a couple of hours came down and watched the first episode of Mr Bates vs the Post Office, which is very good and made me very angry at the PO. They treated sub-postmasters despicably. Talk about being Judge, Jury and Hangman . . .
I have been exhausted still all day today. Pippi hasn't gone out of sight of the house, so obviously had quite a fright yesterday - I don't now if she was chasing a squirrel, or if something chased her. However, this afternoon I DID take myself off to the Nursery to get some compost for planters. I also bought a little Evening Primrose plant for the orchard, and a Globe Flower (always wanted one and will probably get more)- I bunged that in at the back of the pond the moment I got home. I also got a pot with several young Auricula in as I don't have any here. I walked slowly several times round the nursery, looked around inside and bought Tam some small gardening gloves (that size very hard to find) and a trowel which I knew she needed. She's arriving tomorrow afternoon and then we can get the tv sorted in Keith's bedroom, and the DVD player and the Firestick and if he wants to go up early, he has something to watch.
Off to try and relax now.
Thank you for listening to me feeling sorry for myself but yesterday I just got in such a state.
As you know, I quite sympathize with the cat-up-a-tree routine. Little minx--to come down without help when she was good and ready! Our late and much lamented Nellie loved climbing trees and was very clever about it. He would dash at a tree trunk, leap and grip onto it several feet above ground, go up and explore, usually peering down at us owlishly, then quite agilely slither down, Then, you'll surely have those who go up and wail for hours. Let's hope Pippi didn't find the attention so delightful that she makes a habit!
ReplyDeleteI think in the end her bladder dictated coming down was essential . . . Nellie sounded very adept at trees. This was Pippi's first - and hopefully LAST - tree adventure.
DeleteAs if you don't have enough to cope with. It sounds like Pippi gave herself a scare so with any luck she won't be climbing up trees again. My Speedy, currently purring on my lap thinking I'm going to sit here all night for him, was a town stray and when we first had him he ran straight out across the duckweed on the pond and down. Luckily the pond wasn't that deep and I fished him out but he never tried that again.
ReplyDeleteIt was the final straw. Glad you have taken in a stray - they are so pleased to be loved and fed. Pippi did a "walking on water" with our pond, which is also full of duckweed in the summer and looks just like grass!
DeleteI understand the cat in a tree worry. Every time our Shania would go to what both of us (myself and the cat) considered to high, I would get Hubby, who would look and state..."She got up there and will find her own way down." Only once did he have to climb up and get her, she always seemed to find a way down after crying for a bit. Hopefully Pippi has learned not to traverse to the highest points.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I have to say our menfolk are normally right, and I could have coped much better if I wasn't so stressed already.
DeleteNaughty little Pippi. A fireman friend told me 99% of cats up trees will find their way down on their own but not of course without giving their owners a terribly anxious time. I feel I have to put on my stern ward sister voice. You cannot carry on as you are. It is wearing you out physically and mentally. Your son and his family are coming to live with you and provide a safety net but it will not be ideal. They have their work and a little girl to look after and over time will also feel the strain. I suggest having a family meeting to honestly share your feelings and fears. It is not easy to admit to your children you are overwhelmed but from experience it is a relief when you do. Sometimes it is helpful to have an outsider present so feelings don't get hurt. Your children must become your advocates with the medical services and assertive ones at that. Demand from your doctor or district nurse a case conference. If it hasn't been done get Keith assessed by occupational theraist, physiotherapist and social worker before the meeting, reports in writing. Sounds like the medics need a kick up the ..... If you are reluctant to move then a ground floor bedroom and bathroom is required. There are grants to help and one of the medical disciplines needs to set it in motion. Extra help at home for you, now, is going to be much cheaper for the NHS than hospital care for Keith and you which will happen if you are not supported. Do you belong to any support groups? The members will be facing the same challenges as you and some will have navigated through your current situation. I wish I could come over and sort everyone out for you. Hugs x
ReplyDeleteTam's here today. Danny/Emma/little "I" at weekend. Hoping things will calm down but I need to speak to OT about a stair lift - need that more than the made-to-measure electric wheelchair they are offering. I think demands are so high for carers etc (and precious few of them in Wales) that they are only provided in extreme cases. If you appear to be coping . . . Three months with no respite has taken a toll. Thankyou Susan, I will try and get the kids to speak on my behalf - Gabs is very good at that! She takes no nonsense. The wheels are slowly in motion already, but it IS slowly. I last heard from the Social Worker a week or so ago and she said Keith's case was going before the panel. He will be passed for carers, as he can do nothing without help, so then it is the means testing but Tam said that isn't anything like as invasive as that for SAAFA funding, which I had to deal with last year.
DeleteI am away from a computer, but I do have to say, of all people, you're certainly entitled to your off days. A blog is the sum total of your days and not all of them are going to be sun shine and roses. Pippi is a stinker.
ReplyDeleteShe is indeed a stinker! Then she looks at me with those big eyes, and stands on her head, and talks to me and I'd forgive her anything!
DeleteOhhh Jen Jen Jen bloody cat! Bloody sleepnessless and bloody everything else! I second everything Susan has said- a stair lift should have gone in last year. I hope to goodness things level off a bit because from the outside looking in we can all see you will come to a breaking point. An easy ‘swop’ for you to spend a day and a night at T and J new place and they to spend the same at yours would boost you beyond belief. You are knee deep in all roles and have been for too long. You MUST be the priority because if you go under then things will unravel. Let’s hope the panel start instigating change asap xxx Danette xx
ReplyDeleteThe trouble with a stair lift is it takes up most of the width of the stairs, so it's difficult to get past if you are mobile. At them moment Keith still manages the stairs but it's a fine line to draw between managing and not and quickly putting in the stair lift . . .
DeleteYes, pushed very close to the line on Saturday. The shape of things to come as Keith gets worse, but when I can have respite afternoons again, I cope so much better. Cooped up in the house with all your worries is never good.
That's a good idea - a house swop with T&J. They live near Hafod, which the NT have just taken over. A wonderful place created by a man who bankrupted himself over the landscaping of it.
Oh heck what a scare Pippi gave you - so glad she was ok in the end. So sorry that life is so stressful for you at the moment. Hope you can get some relaxation time and that all important sleep. From someone who doesn't sleep well either I know how awful lack of it is. I am pleased you managed a trip out to the nursery.
ReplyDeleteI think she may have been chased by a farm cat tom as she is staying very close to home now. Going without sleep floors me (says she who once again has been awake since 2.30 and it's now 4.20 . . .)
DeleteI think a stairlift must be the answer if Keith is to sleep upstairs. The only thing I would say against a lift is that there is the problem of falling downstairs. Supervision of chair lift at all times. Susan's advice is very good but you are living under a great deal of stress, not helped by impish cats.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, do as you must, keep a brave heart and don't worry too much about the cats, Pippi has another 8 lives to play about with.
Hello Anon. Yes, he has to be upstairs, as that's where the bathroom is.
DeleteThese kittens both delight and worry me, but mostly delight. Lulu was killing my feet before I got in the bath tonight, and then delighting in being rolled up in a towel when I got out!
That was me Thelma, the blog is playing up.....
ReplyDeleteAh, just read this bit. Thanks Thelma.
DeleteThese cats, they certainly know how to worry us .Your experience reminded me of when, years ago, I had cats and one of them pulled the same trick! After tears, ladders and anxious hours she crept part the way down the tree and then suddenly flung herself off a branch, I screeched, and saw her somehow right herself in the air and land softly on all four paws.......none the worse for her experience and me in bits! x
ReplyDeleteAlison in Wales x
We used to have one called Fluff, who took herself up into a pine tree. We got the fire brigade out (this was many years ago, when they did such things). Blardy cat did exactly the same the next day, but I was cross with her then and left her to make her own way down! Panicked has a totally different result with my nerves! I see us cat people share similar experiences. . . my goodness, I'm so glad Pippi didn't jump!
DeletePoor you, Pippi stuck in a tree was probably almost the straw that broke the camel's back. I do think you need to sort out a ground floor bedroom for Keith, would hate to think of you or him or both falling on the stairs. We picked up our little girl cat called Sheva, she is spending some time behind the sofa but then pops out for a fuss and a look around, but she's eating and using her litter tray so not too worried. Hugs Gill Xx
ReplyDeleteSpot on Gill. Can't do downstairs unless he had to use the commode all the time and we had his bed in the living room, which wouldn't work. If he has to be upstairs, at least he has entertainment now.
DeleteSheva must appreciate you taking her in. Living wild is no fun in the winter.
Good Lord! If Pippi wasn't so naughty and the whole thing wasn't so stressful on you, it sounds like a Looney Tunes cartoon with men and ladders and a stuck cat that unsticks itself. I am sorry, but the bit where he pointed at Pippi and asked you "like that one" had me howling. You could have probably wrung her neck.
ReplyDeleteAs an aside, I just learned that in America my dear friend has to have a licence for her cats, and you are not allowed to feed feral cats.
Oh, I was mortified to find I'd gotten the farmers out for nothing, but they were good hearted about it. I really MUST make them that cake today. Dorset Apple Cake I think.
DeleteGoodness - a licence for cats, and not feeding feral ones? What state is she in?
Gosh, I'd have been in pieces. So glad she is safe.
ReplyDeleteIt was horrid Simon. She's fast asleep on Keith's chair right now, innocent as anything!
DeleteMy heart was in my mouth reading this, mainly thinking about you and manoeuvring ladders and doing yourself a mischief. Naughty Pippi to worry you so much, but I’m sure she’s learnt her lesson. Thinking of you as you negotiate a care package for K. Remember that anything that gets done now will benefit you too, not just now but in the future. Think of it as future proofing. I’m sitting in the garden room on a Victorian slipper chair which I bought in a rather rough state for about £20 and had upholstered in a Laura Ashley soft green gingham in 1996 using a small inheritance from my grandad. I love green and my Christmas present to me was a Dartmoor wool blanket bought online from the Dartmoor Shepherd in Chagford. (We visited the shop when we were food shopping in Chagford in September.) It is the most gorgeous vibrant green, the colour of Welsh hills, and is cheering me up now as I can see it draped over the back of the sofa in the sitting room. Talking of Devon, T gave me Michael Morpurgo’s All Around The Year for Christmas. It’s the new edition published last year by Little Toller and recounts a year on Michael’s Iddesleigh farm 1977/78. T saw it in his local Dulwich bookshop and knew I would love it. Look after yourself Jennie. Sarah x
ReplyDeleteOh, I had the single length of ladder (woefully short) jammed against the trunk and the base against another trunk. The tree had 4 trunks going up from one base, so to speak, so it couldn't go sideways either.
DeleteI had of course to look up your Dartmoor wool blanket - oh how lovely and soft that must be. I must look out for that Michael Morpurgo book.