Having a little break

 Sorry good friends.  Life is really being sh***y right now.  This hasn't been a good day on several different levels.  I will have a break from posting as there is nothing positive to write.  Oh tell a lie, I chased up his appt with the Consultant and managed to get a cancellation so we will see her 2nd week of December.  We'll stress the need for Botox injections for his neck as that is what is causing so many problems, including the eating.  I made Keith get on the scales this morning and he has lost over a stone in recent weeks - I knew he had as he's clearly getting so thin and he was never fat to start with.  9st 2lbs now.  Not been that slim since he was a teenager.  He says he is too tired to eat. I have tried my best to get him to eat more, but no . . . I forced a good piece of salmon down at lunchtime with some fried potatoes, and a banana, and some yoghurt.  That is a BIG meal for him.  

Just going shopping for high protein, easily eaten food.  And wine.  I need something to take the edge off my anxiety levels, but I promise, a glass won't be poured till nearly bed-time.

Another of those days - the Universe is sticking its oar in again

Perhaps positively this time.  We shall see.  A medical issue and we will be told in a week how permanent it is likely to be.  A possible emergency trip to A&E may have been on the cards, but difficult to tell.  I won't give details, but it was a bit of a shock, and the speed of it all happening too didn't give us time to take it in fully.

    Today I have had my first "walk" - i.e. one that didn't involve smooth flat supermarket floors! when I went up the lane to see our neighbour's new Whippet puppy, who is adorable but has needle-sharp teefs!  It was lovely to catch-up and have horsey cuddles with her two boys.  I came home laden with about 12 lbs of apples (cookers and eaters) which slowed me down up the last hill rather.  But I have proved I can do a few slopes and less challenging hills again so need to build up my stamina once more.

    This afternoon I will have to get back to making my Hedgerow Jelly, which had to be abandoned yesterday.  I may try bottling some of the apples I was given, but that will have to wait until the weekend.

    No rain so far today - yet!!

    Another g.g. gran death certificate and sadly she died from TB - as did her youngest son just a couple of years before.  The other certificate which appeared at the outside to be another g.g. gran was her 15 week old grand-daughter who died from Enteritis.  Whatever problems the NHS had, we should be glad that treatments are available for things which killed our ancestors not that long ago.

FINALLY - 6 weeks on . . .

 

. . . from testing positive for Covid, I feel back to normal today.  We both slept better, my brain is clearer, I have energy and what's more I have purpose.  I WANT to do things again, and have some wild foraged fruits out of the freezer to make Hedgerow Jelly with tomorrow along with a kilo of Crab Apples which were being given away in the PO.   All the time I've been ill I haven't given a sh*t about anything, and everything has just been SUCH an effort. Even going up and down stairs has made me feel like I've just run a marathon (mind you, I counted the times one day last week and it was 19 trips up and down the stairs!!)  

    Keith too has been better - speech clearer, he has walked briskly up and down the kitchen twice with his stroller, and we've been doing his Pitcherwits puzzle together - his writing was the first thing to go with this horrid disease - it just got smaller and smaller and his whole right hand side was affected with slowness. Only on a very good day can he manage some shaky capitals, so he tells me the answers and I write them in.   

    I had the energy to go up to our neighbour's again and this time he was in and came back with me straight away to change the noisy smoke alarm battery.  I have done the one in the kitchen and think we need a new one entirely for the yellow bedroom as when I tried to get the cover off it started falling off the ceiling!  I will have to get either Danny or Jon to fix that though.  

    Keith and I watched Escape to the Country and then Antiques Road Trip together (Carmarthenshire & Swansea, so some shops and countryside we knew well) and I've done some family history too.  I want to apply for the death certificates of my g. grandmother Harriet Wootton and her mother Mary Ann Fosdick.  They died age 36 and 42 respectively, but it's possible that Harriet died from childbirth complications as she had her final child within 3 months of giving birth.  Until I get the certificate I won't know how close to parturition. You can still get digital copies of the certificates for just £2.50 - I got those of my Bolt G. grandparents that way - but today it's been very slow. 

 *DEBBIE (Country Ways and Cottage Days) - it's the GRO (General Register Office).  You will need to research the death details (Free BMD will be fine) and get the Name, Place, year, which quarter of the year and that will give you a reference  (1A 7 for instance).  When you are typing up the details on the GRO site, ignore the prices for posted certificates and there will be an online option in one of the boxes where you put your person's details.  Then you go on to pay, and THEN you click I'm not a robot and have to jump through all sorts of loops if you can't include every bit of car, motorbike, bus, traffic light etc in photos . . .  Yeesh!  I would say unless you have superfast broadband, wait until the daytime tomorrow when less people online.

    FINALLY I now know - Acute Rheumatism Pericarditis. A rare form of heart failure and due to, I believe, auto-immune problems. Treatable now but of course, not then. Her poor baby was only a month old when she died and my gran was only 3. G. Grandad quickly remarried of course, just 8 months later - he had to with 6 children under the age of 10.  Not much in the way of prophylactics available THEN!  

    Her mother was young too.  Still waiting for things to load on the site before I can share her story. If I've identified cars or motorbikes or zebra crossings or traffic lights once, I've done them 20 times, and then the broadband fades out!  I shall report back later.

    

Insomnia . . . and another day of phone calls

. . . I've had four - or is it 5? - nights of it.  BIG chunks of sleep, as in 4 hours awake each night, worrying and fretting.  Had one of those fall asleep for ten minutes and then still awake at 3 a.m. nights.  Hate those. Still trying to sort out the IPA. I read online that a Social Worker can do it so I phoned them this morning.  They've just phoned back and suggested alternatives.   If they were our only choice we could be waiting months for an appointment and that won't do.  They have suggested the Parkinsons nurse - who I thought of but discounted as she was part of the Surgery team and they told me the Surgery don't do LPAs.   I spoke to them this morning asking whether Keith's appt. or medication we asked for (to slow down saliva production) could be brought forward and explained why.  Fingers x'd now - she's not in until tomorrow. I've now left a message about the LPA for her too.

    Some positive news anyway, as Tam and Jon have got the keys to their new home.  Just a little modest ex Council property in a small close of houses, but in a quiet spot near fabulous walks and they won't know themselves after being at the mercy of the vagaries of the renting market for so long.  Plus she will have her first GARDEN all of her own, so she'll be over the moon about that.  They'll be able to decorate it as they want, hang up paintings and make it their own. 

    Now I need to go and post a New Home card and her birthday card and can't wait for them to send some photos of how it's looking.  I'm not sure if Keith is up to the 3 hour return trip to go and see it, but we'll see.  He's just taking the CBD oil at night now as it makes him quite drowsy, but it's early days yet.

    I saw a tortoiseshell and white cat out in the paddock this morning, with Pippi beside her.  I called Pippi and they both disappeared through the bushes into next door's garden.  Then Pippi rushed up from a different direction, so it looks like a mum and well-grown kitten. This must have been the one that Danny saw a month ago when he went out to investigate a cat fight.  He said he saw Alfie (or L. Whale?) and other cat sat side by side, so obviously it had been noticed it was a girl, and no threat.  I do NOT need two more cats to feed, let alone two cats and a possible new litter . . .

 

Fresh air and freedom in the Elan Valley

This morning the weather was absolutely beautiful - clear blue skies and I was determined to get out for a bit.  Unfortunately all the jobs that needed doing, and Keith's lunch, meant I didn't get away until gone 1.30, by which time clouds were starting to appear.

I headed for the Elan Valley, because I felt a need for fresh air and autumn colours, for beauty and freedom.  For the first time since we've been visiting the Elan Valley, the dams were full and water spilling over the top.  It was quite something.  

You can imagine the noise too.

I loved the scarlet of the Hawthorn haws against the snow white of the rushing water.

The best view of all was from the back of the Visitor centre, where I had stopped to buy several birthday cards and a special Christmas card for my dear friend Rosie in NZ.

I followed the lane along past Garreg Ddu Dam, where the sun was just slipping behind the hills (about 2.30 ish then).

The lane behind me, such a wonderful combination of colours from acidy green to amber to russet, with some deep fir green thrown in for good measure.

 

Looking above the reservoir through the young trees this side, to the established oak forests the other.

Huge rocky hillsides behind me.

I stopped at our favourite waterfall - Danny would have got pretty wet had he decided to climb this in autumn, rather than scramble up it almost dry-footed in the summer. It was comforting to think that we have put down memories in the short time we have been here (it will be three years in January).

Looking back down Garreg Ddu, I just stopped with flashers on and took a photo out of the car window.

Those rocky hillsides are quite something and tower a few hundred feet above your head.

  One last photo of the sun lowering over Caban Coch Dam.

Well, the handyman phoned last night and apologised for being away for a few days so he had only just got my messages.  I bit my tongue and didn't say what I thought - you booked me in for 15th and then went on holiday . . . Revised timing - probably nearly Christmas!  For heavens' sake!  I found myself politely saying, "Ah well, I've only waited all my married life for this greenhouse, I guess a few more weeks won't matter . . ."  Actually, I was longing to have my greenhouse to bring tender plants inside, start off seeds which will then grow on well from autumn-sowing, and generally be able to have some respite without going far from the house . . .  and actually, I was hoping he would be here so he could fix the doorbell (needs a new battery and I can't get the cover off) and he could have replaced all three smoke alarm batteries for me too.  I will go and see our neighbour who changes my water filter for me, as he won't mind being roped in. I'll reward him with a pot of jam.

Then I had to also phone the solicitor today, to say that the GP wasn't playing ball, and did he have an alternative suggestion.  Of course he does, but it's going to be more money - judging by our research, another £350 . . .

But hey, on the upside I've had a lovely afternoon out and taken good photos to remember it by and share, feel greatly refreshed, got some lovely cards, remembered to buy replacement batteries and it's nearly the weekend. Have a good one.

Today is going to be One of Those Days - and Update

 Started off just as exhausted as I went to bed and have been awake since 5 a.m.

Battery alarm is going off every minute on the smoke alarm at the top of the stairs - right outside the bedroom door.  Dangerous for me to be on a step ladder there but it will have to be done or I will get no sleep.

Still no answer from the Handyman about putting up the greenhouse.  Goes straight to answerphone.

The Receptionist at the surgery has just phoned to say that the GP said I can either have the Fostair 100 OR the Fostair 200 inhaler, and not both.  Oooh, that made my blood boil.  I told her I had been on that high dose for about 6 years, and that the Consultant at Glangwili Hospital put me on that.  That their Asthma Nurse had spoken to the Asthma Clinician at Abergwili about it when I first moved to the practice, and it was established that, high though it was, I needed it.  I have tried dropping back to the 200 alone, but really struggle with my breathing.  Why should I have my health compromised because some GP is trying to save money or comply with NICE guidelines?

8.40 and Keith has been in the bathroom this last hour, so I sense today is not going to be a good day.

Anything positive - NOPE!

Update:

The day has just got worse, as the letter we put in to Keith's GP asking her to confirm his mental capacity for his Lasting Power of Attorney is apparently not something GPs do at our surgery any more.  We have to get a private Psychiatric Assessment instead . . .  For heavens' sake!  Tam has shown me now the relevant page in the LPA advice and although I put down what I "thought" the solicitor had told me to write - it was very simple - I have clearly worded it wrongly.  Anyway, turns out that a friend who has known Keith for 2 years or more can sign it.  I will ask Carmarthenshire friends of long standing to do it for us.  

We definitely had chip shop fish and chips for tea tonight! 

Today I'm sitting down with . . .

 Well, a day of mixed parts.  Good news: the heating oil I ordered on Monday has been delivered and we got in at 70p/litre.  Bad news - no sign of handyman to start on the greenhouse (foundations first) and I had to leave a message on his answerphone at home.  I will call again tonight when he's home.  He seemed reliable, and I would have appreciated the heads up that he wouldn't be here today.

My monthly magazine was in when I went to get the paper in Conti's.  So I have sat down and enjoyed some of the Christmassy articles, although there is normally a proper Christmas mag at the end of November.  Some nice antiques in there and lovely room settings.

This lovely magazine was a "care package" sent by my lovely Dorset friend Gay - we go back 50 years, first as penpals, then lifelong friends.  She knows what is guaranteed to cheer me up. Some lovely baking recipes in here and when I am feeling up to standing in the kitchen for longer, I will try some out.  By the time I had changed Keith's bed this morning and put the linen on to wash, I had to have a rest.  Then I went to collect my prescription from the Surgery, and found out they had given me the wrong inhaler despite my saying it was the Fostair 200 I needed, which was taken in combination with the 100. So I have to go back again in the morning.

The view from the kitchen window of the beautiful beech trees changing colour.  They look fabulous with the sun on them.  I stood and looked at them whilst weighing ingredients for the first home-made loaf I've felt up to baking since getting Covid.   It will be a Wheatgerm and Honey loaf (with oatbran substituted for the wheatgerm.)  It's meant to be sprinkled with Sesame seeds, but having looked at the jar of Sesame seeds in the storecupboard, with no use by date on it, I am inclined to think it will have a sprinkling of oats instead and the Sesame seeds will be on the compost heap in the morning. Executive decision for my evening meal - it will be Cajun Dirty Rice - that will do me two meals at least.  Keith will be wanting fish again.

Keith's CBD oil arrived today and he had his first tiny dose.  It made him sleepy but he said his tremors feel better.  We shall see how we go on.

My brain feels like it needs to do battles with the documents on Ancestry again, for the first time since late summer, so I am going to indulge myself.  Hoping everyone is well and thank you for your comments, as ever.  I shall get Nicola White Tideline Art up on Keith's new Amazon Fire Tablet.  We both really enjoy her videos and would love to be mudlarks a) if we lived in London and b) if we were younger!!  I will find him some other interesting bits on Youtube - infact, just realized we have Youtube on our smart tv, so we can both enjoy them together.