Kilvert - a love lost (more from Llanigon church and environs)

 

From the walls of Llanigon Church - there were two others as well.

If you have read Kilvert's Diaries you will know that the poor man fell hook, line and sinker for "Daisy" (known as Fanny in her family), one of the daughters of the Rev. Thomas, Llanthomas, who had the living here.  Unfortunately, when he declared his love for her to her father, he was found wanting - apparently both in social status and lineage as well as in prospects - and was easily bullied:

"As I crossed the bridge over the Digedi, I wondered with what feelings I should cross the bridge an hour later.  The whole family at home came into the drawing room to see me and I was wondering how I could get Mr Thomas away for a private talk, when he said suddenly, 'Come out into the garden .'  Daisy came into the room.  I thought she coloured and looked conscious.  I delivered up to her the basket she had lent me to take the grapes in to Alice Davies and gave her Alice's message of thanks.  Then we went out into the garden, her father and I.  I said, 'You will be very much surprised but I hope not displeased at what I am going to say to you.'  'What is it?' he said eagerly, 'have you got the living of Glasbury?'  'No, something much nearer to you than that.'  'What is it?'  I was silent a minute.  I was frightfully nervous.  'I-am-attached-to-one-of-your-daughters,' I said.

        Just as I made this avowal we came suddenly round a corner upon a gardener cutting a hedge.  I feared he had heard my confession, but I was much relieved by being assured that he was deaf.  Mr Thomas said I had done quite right in coming to him, though he seemed a great deal taken aback.

        He said also a great many complimentary things about my 'honourable high-minded conduct,' asked what my prospects were and shook his head over them.  He could not allow an engagement under the circumstances, he said, and I must not destroy his daughter's peace of mind by speaking to her or showing her in any way that I was attached to her.

    The course of true love never does run smooth.  What has happened only makes me long for her more and cling more closely to her, and feel more determined to win her.

        On this day when I proposed for the girl who will I trust one day be my wife I had only one sovereign in the world, and I owed that."

        This conversation was followed up by a letter from the Rev. Thomas, asking Kilvert NOT to pursue the matter any further.  Nor did he, even when he finally got a living of his own, although St Harmon's had no house for the curate and he had to lodge. Daisy never married, yet she was only 34 when her father died in 1886.  Of course, by then, Kilvert himself was dead too.

Below: Fanny's ("Daisy's") memorial. She died December 18th 1928 aged 76.

The Rev. William Jones Thomas had a very fruitful marriage and his poor wife Annie Elizabeth was little more than a brood mare, producing 6 sons and 5 daughters down the years, and indeed most of these are buried in Llanigon churchyard.  None of the daughters married, or perhaps that should read, were allowed to marry.

In John Toman's "Kilvert The Homeless Heart", he mentions that the same fate was also meted out to a further two of Daisy's sisters.  Morgan, curate of nearby Glasbury, sought to marry Charlotte, but was considered "socially below par".  Their sister Grace must have been very much in love with her suitor as once again, he was dismissed by her father and apparently she had a break-down, being sent to a private asylum, where she may have died.  She is not buried in the churchyard at Llanigon.  

Memorial to Mary Elizabeth, the eldest daughter. She died at Llanthomas June 1st 1886, aged 42.

A further side of Daisy's memorial is to her elder sister Edith Burnham Thomas, who died December 12th 1920 aged 71.

In Toman's book, he has turned to extracts from The Kilvert Society newletter, where a housekeeper there in 1920s told of the luxuriousness of the house, the sumptuous meals and the many servants, and how its occupants lived in style.  It was said that Thomas used his daughters' dowries to "pay for substantial additions he made to Llanthomas". To no avail, since it was demolished in 1949.  

Finally, and no relation whatsoever, near the gate was this sad little memorial to William Jenkins, of Trebarried, who was only 5 years old when he died.

        The snow has all gone now but it is still chilly out there, but sunny.  Have a good weekend all.